| Population | 6.462 billion |
| Capital | Joyous |
| Leader | Randini The Great |
| Currency | Cheers |
| Animal | Puppy dog |
The Armed Republic of THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Randini The Great with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 6.462 billion HAPPYLANDIANS are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Joyous. The average income tax rate is 94.8%.
The powerhouse REGIME OF HAPPYLANDian economy, worth a remarkable 1,666 trillion Cheers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 257,824 Cheers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.
Molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public, a government program is underway to revitalize THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND's beaches, praying before a battle is a court-martial offence, and politicians literally speak literally. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND's national animal is the Puppy dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.
THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND is ranked 246,518th in the world and 9,083rd in Osiris for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -5.91 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Primitive, Most Avoided, and Largest Black Market and the Top 5% for Most Patriotic and Highest Average Incomes.
- : THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, politicians literally speak literally.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, praying before a battle is a court-martial offence.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, a government program is underway to revitalize THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND's beaches.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, a nickname of "Doctor Death" probably indicates a decorated war hero.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, black tea is only available on the black market.
- : Following new legislation in THE REGIME OF HAPPYLAND, long-wed spouses often regret proposals they made when they were twenty.
